I heard a quote recently which struck a chord. In fact, I hear or read several quotes a day and most of them do strike a chord but not like this one. This one stuck around. It immediately reminded me that I need to stop stalling and get on with it. By “it” I mean my life.
I have found more and more often that whenever I do manage to get myself caught up in thought I always seem to end up in the same spot. I start to overthink, to over-analyse, to second guess…. What’s the meaning behind this? Why has it come up now? Is there any meaning to be found at all? Am I just making something out of nothing?
The cycle continues until I realise I am back in the same spot. “It doesn’t matter”, it’s just another distraction, another reason to procrastinate. Each new fad or idea that comes along that’s going to finally heal me, they are all smoke screens. All keeping me from what I need to do or where I need to be.
The Subconscious mind is very clever at deception, very clever indeed. But I am slowly catching on. Each time something new comes up now the first thing I ask myself is “hang on, is this just another distraction”? “Some other Rabbit hole to disappear down?” I think this has been going on for several years if I am honest. So, what’s this all important quote then? Well, here it is……
“The Magic you are seeking is in the work you are avoiding”
Now it may seem meaningless to you but this is huge for me. And that’s another thing I have learned while doing this work. Whatever works for me, whatever makes sense to me might not make sense or work for you and that is absolutely fine. We are all operating in the same way, as in, we are all human. But we are all running our own version of core operating system. This is what makes us all unique. So, although two people could be exhibiting the same symptoms or traits, their healing will almost definitely be found in completely different ways. This is why there are so many non-medical healing modalities out there.
I know exactly what I want to do but it’s outside my comfort zone. My problem is that I keep distracting myself with the next new thing which ultimately means that in reality I’m not actually doing anything to get better. I think I am but I’m not. As the great Dr Sarno said, “you have to be all in, both feet”. I know that I need to fully commit and give everything, to completely immerse myself and believe 100% that what I am doing will work, will heal me.
It’s so easy to create a lifestyle to accommodate your “condition”. I hadn’t realised exactly how easy until a recent wake up call. It was then that I realised how complacent I had become. I then started to question myself and question previous blogs I had written and also the (work in progress) book. Yes, this is another distraction but I usually catch this one early. Self-sabotage, undermining myself, telling myself I’m not doing the work. I’ve had this dance so many times before and yes, it’s another distraction, another opportunity to over think and derail the great work I have been doing.
A short time a go I went on an over-night stay down in London. This was to see a concert with our Son as part of his Birthday present. While it was a fantastic break it was also a huge wake up call. I couldn’t believe how difficult so many simple things could be. Everything from a journey by train, a walk around the shops, going for a meal, attending a concert. Practically everything we did on that night away was a challenge. The amount of compensating and planning I do to ensure that I can get through a simple task is quite honestly, ridiculous. Yet it happens all the time and for so long that I’ve become used to it and no longer see it. It is only on occasions like this where it really jumps out and smacks me in the face. How did it come to this? Why did I let it get so bad? And so that cycle continues.
Another quote comes to mind which is much more powerful than the one I mentioned earlier. I know some people don’t like motivational quotes and I can only speak from my own point of view. I can’t offer advice for 8 billion other people unfortunately. But this is another powerful one and sums up where I am at the moment;
“Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing”
That’s right, as painful as it is, I am choosing to be like this. And “Yes” that really hurts. So why do we do these things to ourselves? Well, its complicated. If it wasn’t complicated we’d all be perfectly happy, healthy and living our best lives as the best versions of ourselves. But we’re not.
So, what’s next? What’s the next magic pill? Well, nothing to be honest. Nothing new anyway. Just good old discipline and effort. For a long time I have tried a variety of things but I’ve never had consistency. That is until I started the cold water therapy. I’ve had a couple of gaps now and then but I’ve been doing this pretty much every morning for 6 months now. I know this is having a positive effect, not because the research says so, but because I have experienced it. I know how great it feels after being in 10°C water for a few minutes. I know that the feeling lasts long into the day. What I need to do now is create the same consistency with other habits.
Meditation is another thing I have been doing for a long time but the consistency isn’t there. I know how meditation affects me so it can only multiply if I do it every single day. Exercise is the final piece, for now. I need to move, we all need to move. I used to go for a 5k run every lunchtime and besides the physical benefits it did wonders for my mental health. And there was no reason for me to stop, I just allowed myself to make different choices (excuses). Will a treadmill at home I have no excuse now, I just need to remind myself each time I find that I am talking myself out of something …… ”whatever you are not changing, you are choosing”.
Self Discipline – the ability to make yourself do something, even if it is difficult, so that you can achieve a goal.
Just a Thought 